Hard work, pays off.

So I've been working really hard for the past two months trying to get this outfit made. I finally finished it friday [april 17,2009], and it was the best feeling in the world!

Looking at it realizing that I made it was the coolest thing. Honestly, I tend to doubt my ability to do accomplish things, so when I do its like this major deal.
I really love Fashion Design and my heart is completely there, like love tattooed on my heart, its my true passion.



What I'd do without it, um who knows?!




Well, I can thank my God for helping me pull through with this, because I really did want to give up and say this is too much, but I followed through and worked super hard to get the job done.

A New Day.

Yes, with a new day brings joy! I felt so good these past two days, it was insane. Life seemed perfect, and everything, regardless of if it were going well or not, seemed amazing to me. I can't even being to express how thankful I am to have my right mind, going through certain things makes you realize how much you appreciate what you have.

I'll write more later. But I just had to start my day off with something positive.

No Pain, No Gain.

If anyone has ever been hurting, they'd know exactly how I'm feeling. Life is tough, and that old saying "no one said it'd be easy", well that's true. Sometimes I really hate that rough time, because bad times and circumstances, just seem as if they are never ending. Right now, my heart hurts and my mind is completely confused. I feel like I'm doing this outer body looking into an inner body thing.

Sometimes, it feels like I have no one to run to. And feeling alone in this world, is nothing worth bragging about. I know and I've realized that I will be nothing and can't being anything without God. His love is all that I have...to lean on, believe in, and trust. I don't know what else to do lately but cry..and it's not getting me anywhere.

I've always been the kind of person where I hide my feelings, and I hold back on things that I should have said but didn't, thinking that, we'll, maybe this we'll get me somewhere, maybe if I don't say a word, I don't have to worry about anything. In reality, that's not true, because a voice not heard, is like having no voice at all.

It hurts so much when I feel like I can't even go to my own mother and confide in her, trusting that because she is my mother maybe she'll care, maybe she'll hug me in her arms and tell me to hold on.
It hurts, when you start to lose all sight of who you are as person. Feeling empty and worthless, constantly feeling not good enough.

Life is not easy, my friend, please know, and there will be trials and tribulations, but do trust and believe me when I say, turn to God whether it be good or bad, He cannot and will not ever fail, He's there and He hears, and knows exactly what you need and your pain.
Life would be nothing without pain, where would your strength come from, your faith, your character?

I'm struggling with this, but I'll make it through, for God is by my side and he is constantly guiding and strengthening me.