About three days ago my dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. It had not really worried me until today. Its been months that he's been in pain and losing a lot of weight. But no one really knew what it was.
It really hit me this morning when my mom started crying. I cant stand to see people cry, I cant stand to see people hurt and there's nothing I can do about it. It sucks, you know...because sometimes you wish that you could heal their pain and take away their tears, but knowing YOU, yourself cant makes me feel bad.
I want for everything to be OK, for everything to be better than it was before...and OK!
I'm not really in the mood to blog but I wanted to write something, hoping that it could help get things off my chest so that I wont worry.
It scares me when I think about him no longer being with us...someone you love and see everyday, who has had a huge impact on your life.
God has taken care of us so far, and I do believe He will continue to.
I feel like maybe I haven't been worrying because with God...what is cancer. I don't want to worry because I know with worrying comes stress and pain, and tears and I don't want to cry. All I can do is tell my dad how much I love him and I cannot guarantee that every things going to be OK, but I can hug him and hold him close and constantly remind him that God is near and whatever he is going through God is going through it as well.
I need God more than anything right now, just to keep it together. I don't believe that He will ever let me down, so having and keeping faith in My Father is the best and all I can do.
Have a Blessed day and Remember to Smile, always.