Friday, September 18, 2009

A Battle I Cannot Fight.

About three days ago my dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. It had not really worried me until today. Its been months that he's been in pain and losing a lot of weight. But no one really knew what it was.

It really hit me this morning when my mom started crying. I cant stand to see people cry, I cant stand to see people hurt and there's nothing I can do about it. It sucks, you know...because sometimes you wish that you could heal their pain and take away their tears, but knowing YOU, yourself cant makes me feel bad.

I want for everything to be OK, for everything to be better than it was before...and OK!

I'm not really in the mood to blog but I wanted to write something, hoping that it could help get things off my chest so that I wont worry.

It scares me when I think about him no longer being with us...someone you love and see everyday, who has had a huge impact on your life.

God has taken care of us so far, and I do believe He will continue to.

I feel like maybe I haven't been worrying because with God...what is cancer. I don't want to worry because I know with worrying comes stress and pain, and tears and I don't want to cry. All I can do is tell my dad how much I love him and I cannot guarantee that every things going to be OK, but I can hug him and hold him close and constantly remind him that God is near and whatever he is going through God is going through it as well.

I need God more than anything right now, just to keep it together. I don't believe that He will ever let me down, so having and keeping faith in My Father is the best and all I can do.

Have a Blessed day and Remember to Smile, always.

-Alana Alston.


  1. Psalm 27:4-5
    One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple. For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock.

    Psalm 18:2
    The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the hornof my salvation, my stronghold.

    Psalm 22:24
    For he has not despised or disdainedthe suffering of the afflicted one;he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help.

    Even in the moments where you don't feel you have the strenght to believe in God and the devil tries to get to you, just repeat "The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer."

    When my brother was diagnosed with hodgkins lymphoma, our lives turned upside down too. And there is no way we would've gotten through it without God. Just take his hand and hold on tight and he will guide you, just like he guided us.

    Stay Strong, and when you don't feel strong, just remember he will be strong for you.

    God bless.

  2. Thank you so much for your words of wisdom and for helping me. It really does mean a lot.