what a mess!

Today has been so weird.

First off my insecurities have been eating at me all day. And secondly because today was just an off day.

Insecurities are the one thing that bugs the crap out of me, and when I say that I mean it. It's like every negative thing I can think about myself pops in my head, and for the moment just won't go away. I hate it, and I wish that I could just snap my fingers and all of them just go away.

My insecurities are past circumstances, physical appearance, fears, and the list goes on.
I'm writing about this, because maybe, just maybe I can help someone else to over come their insecurities while I'm battling with mine. It's a disease, I mean it has to be. I can look in the mirror and say ok well I look cute today, but I don't necessarily feel that I am.

Is there something not getting to my brain, that's in everyone Else's with self confidence?
I know people look at me and think I'm crazy when I say I'm ugly, and yes I feel that no Man, and I mean no Man could ever like me, I just don't see how.
People say so many sweet things about me, and tell me how pretty I look and that I'm beautiful, and it just goes in one ear and out the other.

I HATE THIS!

I don't want for others to have to say something to me positive, for me to feel good about myself. That's just not healthy.
The only thing I can think to do, is to go to God on this. I mean no one else can help me. And with Him all things are possible, so I know I can defeat my insecurities and move on with my life.

I'M WRITING THIS NOW, LETTING ANYONE WHO IS BATTLING WITH INSECURITIES KNOW: It's time to take a stand and LET THEM OFFICIALLY GO.

I can't sit and preach on how to do this, because I'm trying as well, but with God and prayer, and some patience all things will work out.

Lesson Learned today: screw insecurities! They are no GOOD, and we really don't GAIN ANYTHING FROM THEM, but self doubt and pain.
Life's moving on, whether we are with it or without it. Encourage yourself daily and believe that things do and can GET BETTER.

[love], Alana.